Read 'em and weep cat lovers. Here comes the science!

What I've always known has been proven scientifically. Dogs are twice as smart as cats. Here's the article for you to cry about. It all comes down to dogs having twice the number of cerebral cortex neurons as cats, and generally speaking the more cerebral cortex neurons the greater the intelligence. Compare for example the number gorillas have to humans. Just like dogs to cats, humans have double the amount of gorillas.

To most reasonable people using their cerebral cortex neurons this comes as no surprise. Simply observe both creatures long enough and you'll see many reasons why dogs are superior to cats. If you need a head start, here are a quick five.

1) Dogs can be trained to do complex tasks.

Ever hear of a bomb sniffing cat? Or a service cat? (No, not the kind you fake, I mean a REAL service cat.) The reason you don't is they're too dumb to be trained. For ever cat loving weirdo who makes the lame argument that cats are too smart to be subservient and thus too smart to be trained, let me ask you this. When the idiot at the burger joint can't get your order straight do you say it's because he's too smart to be trained properly?

2) Dogs can do tricks.

See # 1. (And yes you'll have a story about some occasional cat that fetches but generally speaking cats are as dumb as furniture.)

3) Dogs are loyal.

A dog will stay with its master through thick and thin. The bond between dog and human goes back at least 14,700 years ago when dog remains were buried beside human remains. The dog was the first species to be domesticated. Cats on the other hand couldn't care any less about you. The only reason they don't kill you in your sleep and eat you is they are not big enough.

4) Dogs can keep you fit.

Try walking a cat on a leash. Or taking a cat on a hiking trail. Or doing damn near anything healthy with a cat. The only way to get your heart rate up with a cat is to try to give it a bath, in which case it shows its ignorance with every panicked, spastic splash.

5) Dogs help you meet new friends.

It happens all the time where neighbors will first meet neighbors by stopping and asking questions about their dogs. No one does this with a cat. Why? See # 4. They don't want to be with you.

In conclusion, there are two types of people in this world. Dog people, and people who are just sad.

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