NJ man freaked by tree conspiracy, says it’s fake and moving

Are we certain we haven’t legalized recreational psilocybin in New Jersey?

A bizarre story has been recently followed on TikTok and has been getting millions of views with updates. According to TheNerdStash.com, a man from New Jersey claims to be completely freaked out by a tree in his yard that he doesn’t know what to make of.

He claims it never showed up in childhood photos, does not show up on Google maps, and he does not think the tree is real.

Further, he has a sneaking suspicion the tree is slowly moving across his yard.

The first video he put on TikTok has him nervously dropping constant f-bombs as he wonders if all of life is a “simulation.” He compares it to a tree he has known well and apparently for a long time. In other words, a real tree he has no personal beef with.

This other tree though? Beef.

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Now he never quite says the tree just showed up one day fully grown, but mentioning it doesn’t appear in old photographs or on Google Maps, can’t we assume this is his belief? That it just showed up like a doorstep visitor in “The Book of Mormon,” I guess?

Huh. OK?

He wonders out loud in the video if it’s tracking him.

As far as the claim that the tree is on the move, an update video shows the exasperated man claiming he had measured the distance between the real tree and the possible morphing alien life form tree from one day to the next and says it moved 5 inches closer.

Also said it looked to him like more of its roots were exposed.

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Oh, and before I even get into the missing bird theory, let me just gently play the voice of reason, or, maybe, sobriety?, and offer that instead of making TikTok videos, he should be calling in some experts in case he has shifting ground beneath the surface and a possible sinkhole forming.

But, I digress.

This excitable fellow also claims the questionable, fake, moving tree has never had birds land on its branches. Like, EVER. He said he stared directly at it for a straight two and a half hours, which I think is suspect.

Could you stare at the same exact spot for two and a half straight hours not looking away even once without being on some serious drug? Anyway, he claims not a single bird landed on a single branch for a single second.

All this drama is certainly drawing comments, many in the form of dad jokes:

“That tree is definitely up to no wood.”

“Tell it what is going on in the world. It can tell the other trees.”

“I am rooting for you.”

“Don’t worry, trees are all bark and no bite.”

Check out the original TikTok video, and you can follow this psychedelic saga from there if you want.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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