Back in MY day, we had to WORK to get our marijuana! You had skin in the game! You had to go into the bad parts of Elizabeth. Risk arrest. Hide it once you do get it.

Damn, young people today don’t know how easy they have it with their fancy-pantsed recreational dispensaries. By cracky, kids don’t even have to get out of their cars!

At least that’s the plan.

Dasco Solutions of East Brunswick has filed with the Metuchen Planning Board to convert a 3,037-square-foot vacant bank into a marijuana dispensary. And get this. It would even come with a drive-thru.

Canva/Townsquare Media illustration
Canva/Townsquare Media illustration

If a drive-thru window to buy weed sounds crazy, a couple of things. One, yes, the jokes practically write themselves. Two, it’s not even the first of its kind in New Jersey.

That honor goes to Apothecarium Lodi, a 5,000-square-foot facility that operates a drive-thru window.

To use it, their business model has you order online and then wait to receive a notification that it’s ready for pickup.

Fun fact about this place, it’s right next door to the Satin Dolls strip club used in the HBO drama “The Sopranos.”

If and when this new marijuana dispensary in Metuchen opens there’s no word on whether it would call for the same advance ordering. I think it would be more fun if you could use it as an impulse purchase. You could be blaring “Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant, spot the place, and swing in for a half-ounce of Pineapple Express.

Recreational Marijuana New Jersey

They’d just better damn well ask me if I want to buy some chocolate chip cookies for later.

If approved the site will be at 700 Middlesex Avenue. The application is scheduled to be presented to the Planning Board on November 2.

UPDATE 2023: All the NJ stores that sell legal weed

The number of recreational cannabis dispensaries continues to grow, since the first NJ adult use marijuana sales in April 2022.

Gallery Credit: Erin Vogt, Eric Scott

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