I love Starbucks coffee, but after years of having it a few times a week, I've got to tell you, I still don’t have the language down pat. I literally get nervous every time I pull up to the drive-through or walk up to a Starbucks counter. After all, "grande" means "big" in Spanish, but the language they speak is not Spanish. Plus, the grande size at Starbucks is actually a medium, not a large. Inexplicably, the large is called a Venti. (That means 20 in Italian, for the 20 ounces the cup holds.)

Hold up! Now we’ve switched from Spanish to Italian! Why don’t we be consistent and use Italian across the board, and call the small a "dodici" for the 12 ounces you’re ordering and "sedici" instead of for “grande” for the medium, which is 16 ounces? Or, couldn’t we just say small, large and medium? Or would that be too pedestrian?

Oh, and to further confuse matters, a tall cup at Starbucks is actually ... well, short. I was pulling up to the drive-through today, and as usual, I was a wreck. Even though I alternate between two or three different drinks there, I always get confused with all the choices and the sizes and the language.

So as usual, while waiting to get close enough to hear the magic voice come out of the speaker, I was practicing my “lines” Repeating my order as though I were about to perform in a school play that I had missed most of the rehearsals for. This time, I decided to video it. And I think I over-rehearsed.

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Judi Franco. Any opinions expressed are Judi’s own.