‘Twas the night before bag ban
And all through the state
Many still were not ready
Some not feeling so great

The single-use plastic
Would soon be no more
Nor swept in the ocean waves
Down at the shore

No microplastics nestled
In gills of the fish
No more plastic handles
A sea turtle’s wish

But landlubbers needed
To get their things home
So switch to reusables?
That’s using your dome!

Jeff Deminski photo
Jeff Deminski photo

But is that really the answer?
Some say not so fast
Single-use plastic
Replaced paper bags past

Will this be like that?
Will we shudder to find?
These reusable totes
Will one day be maligned?

Studies have shown
Carbon footprints are bigger
From making reusables
And my, won’t that trigger

The virtuous ones
Whose mission remains
To save planet earth
From those lesser birdbrains

But the pandemic taught us
One thing of note
Single-use was much cleaner
Than reusable totes

reusable shopping bags plastic bag ban (Erin Vogt, Townsquare Media NJ)
(Erin Vogt, Townsquare Media NJ)

On germs! On bugs!
On pathogens, virus!
On spores! On mold!
On filthy hepatitis!

Your reusable bag’s
A Petri dish with handles
But go on, celebrate
Ignite all the candles!

You think you saved the world
But you only killed Jersey
Feel holier than thou
As your bag gives you scurvy

So here’s a small prayer
As we succumb to the new
Goodbye plastic bags
May the Fourth be with you

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

You can now listen to Deminski & Doyle — On Demand! Hear New Jersey’s favorite afternoon radio show any day of the week. Download the Deminski & Doyle show wherever you get podcasts, on our free app, or listen right now:

NJ beach tags guide for summer 2022

We're coming up on another summer at the Jersey Shore! Before you get lost in the excitement of sunny days on the sand, we're running down how much seasonal/weekly/daily beach tags will cost you, and the pre-season deals you can still take advantage of!

LOOK: States With the Most New Small Businesses Per Capita

To find the top 20 states with the most new small businesses per capita, Simply Business analyzed the Census Bureau’s Business Formation Statistics from August 2020 to July 2021.

NJ county fairs make a comeback: Check out the schedule for 2022

UPDATED 4/10: A current list of county fairs happening across the Garden State for 2022. From rides, food, animals, and hot air balloons, each county fair has something unique to offer.

(Fairs are listed in geographical order from South NJ to North NJ)

More From New Jersey 101.5 FM