With 16 weeks til Memorial Day, tips for naming a new boat

It doesn’t feel like it as I write this, looking at the ice and snow outside my window, but Memorial Day is coming. We are just 16 weekends away from the unofficial start to summer.

Another sign of nicer days to come is the NJ Boat Sale and Expo about to happen at the NJ Expo Center in Edison. It takes place February 13th through 16th, and my co-host Kylie Moore is even making an appearance from noon til 2 p.m. on the 15th.

I never owned a boat. But nothing screams summer like being out on one. And I came across a fun article on DiscoverBoating.com that breaks down the do’s and don’ts of naming a boat.

Be brief

It’s a long-standing tradition, and there are some accepted practices. One piece of advice: keep it short. A shorter name not only looks better and is easier to remember, but it’s also easier to communicate over VHF radio transmissions.

No pressure

It’s also highly recommended not to pressure yourself to have a name ready the first day you own it. It’s not a baby that needs a birth certificate filled out before leaving the hospital. A lot of people spend time out on their boat for a few weeks or even months before arriving at a name organically.

Whimsy wins

Puns and double meanings are a favorite when naming a boat. Like ‘Sea Student’ or a doctor who owns a boat calling it ‘Knot On Call.’

Pop culture

When all else fails, sometimes a movie you love works. In Forrest Gump,” he named his boat ‘Jenny.’ If your wife is named that, she’ll never complain about the money you spent on that boat. If you’re a “Jaws” fan, you can go with ‘Orca.’ If you’re a fan of Johnny Depp you can go with ‘The Black Pearl.’

Renaming a boat

Let’s say you bought a boat from a shady North Jersey guy named Tony whose boat was called ‘The Stugots’ and you’d like to change it to ‘Seas the Day.’ Some say it’s bad luck unless you follow some traditional rituals.

You can read more on that here, but they involve a purging of the old name, a sacrifice, even a recitation of Ode to Poseidon, which goes…

“Oh mighty and great ruler of the seas and oceans, to whom all ships and we who venture upon your vast domain are required to pay homage, I implore you in your graciousness to expunge for all time from your records and recollection the name (mention the old boat name), which has ceased to be an entity in your kingdom. As proof thereof, we submit this ingot bearing her name to be corrupted through your powers and forever be purged from the sea. In grateful acknowledgment of your munificence and dispensation, we offer these libations to your majesty and your court.”

I think I’d just keep it ‘The Stugots.’

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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