What if Biden had to read these NJ town names off teleprompter? (Opinion)

President Joe Biden was in our state yesterday. Now let’s face it, love him or hate him, he’s not the most elegant public speaker. Some insist his verbal gaffes are the result of dementia. Even if you already know he’s had a lifelong stutter impediment, you still realize it’s gotten in the way at times.

Now Biden is originally from the Scranton, Pennsylvania area and made his home in Delaware and represented that state for many years in the U.S. Senate.

But how well does he know the peculiarities of Jersey’s towns? Heck, you don’t need a stutter to have a hard time with the pronunciation of some towns here. In fact you don’t even need to be from out of state; you can be born and raised in one part of New Jersey and still be stumped by a town in another part.

Example: for years I thought Sergeantsville was just like the rank. It’s not. It’s SURGENTS-ville.

In Biden’s Delaware, their Newark is pronounced NEW-ark. Our Newark is pronounced NEW-irk. Close but different.

So imagine if the speechwriter had really done him in on Monday’s visit and the poor president had to read Jersey towns off a teleprompter. It might have gone something like this.

Kearny

“It’s wonderful to be here this afternoon in KEER-knee.”

Sayreville

“My infrastructure package is living on a prayer, just like Say-RUH-ville’s Jon Bon Jovi. Juvie? Javie? No, yeah, Jovi.”

Dunellen

“It will help great counties like Middlesex, places like DOON-lin, uh, DONE-lean, DUN-eh-LUN-bum-ramalama-ding-dong.”

Bogota

“Even though we fought the drug cartels in BOW-guh-TA, we’ll offer you help too - what? Bergen County what?”

Closter

“Speaking of Bergen County, I wanted to stop by CLOSS-ter had we had the time. Oh it’s CLOSE-ter? Like let me stand CLOSE-ter your hair and smell it? Got it!”

Avon-by-the-Sea

“Whether it’s AYE-von by the sea, or by the mountain or by my door I’ll always buy Jill something from you ladies I think you’re just terrific.”

Succasunna

“Listen I don’t know another way to say this but if you’re from SUCK-ASS-ooh-NAH I can only hope things get better there.”

Mercifully other than Kearney the other stop for Biden on Monday was in North Plainfield; it would be hard to butcher that one.

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski. Any opinions expressed are Jeff Deminski's own.