Every Jersey girl needs to watch this video. Sooner or later kids, you're going to cross a bridge or drive through a tunnel. When that day comes, the man talking on his cell phone, sometimes in English sometimes not, will no longer be there to pump your gas. You will have to do it yourself.

What is this scary place you've entered? It's called the rest of the country.

Once you cross that Rubicon to the rest of the country, your pampered ways go right out the window. You will have to do the unthinkable. You will have to figure out how to press a few buttons and stick a nozzle into a hole and squeeze. Now I know this seems daunting. I know you're imagining yourself running on fire inside the mini-mart to douse yourself with Gatorade. Or worse. Admitting to a total stranger you're from New Jersey and have never done this before and asking them for help.

The rest of the country is a scary place indeed. If they make you lower yourself to savage status, sticking nozzles in strange holes and squeezing, what will the rest of the country expect next? You to shuck your own corn? Do your laundry in a river and beat it on rocks? Skin a possum? Wear animal pelts? Learn to fire a musket? It's brutal. It's scary. But you must be ready.

Maybe this video can serve as a primer for others. Or at the very least a reminder that just once you should have your kids get out of the car on a road trip and watch you do it. The embarrassment you spare them will be worth it. Trust them. They can learn this. If they can do important work like posting videos of themselves using a filter to make them appear as bees then they can learn this.

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