NJ restaurant in LGBT hotspot responds after video shows heated exchange over anti-gay slur

ASBURY PARK — A video clip taken at a well-known Asbury Park bar and restaurant is causing a stir after a professional photographer says he was called an anti-gay slur by another patron.

The scene and aftermath unfolded in one of the most LGBT-friendly communities in New Jersey, just blocks from the largest and most popular gay and lesbian bar and nightclub in the state.

The video was posted to Facebook by a local photographer who goes by “Respectfully Ryan.”

He was sitting with a friend in the outdoor area of Asbury Ale House on Sunday, when another party was seated at the table next to them.

He says older man with that group began yelling that "nobody wants to hear your voice, you f****t,” “Nobody wants to hear you, stop talking.”

“I have never in my life experienced such a thing,” Ryan says in the video, which he says starts right after the man first attacked him.

Ryan and a woman he was dining with are heard on the video yelling at the man and repeating the anti-gay slur several times, including to explain to an apologetic waitress what had happened.

When asked to repeat what he said, the older man says he called him an “idiot."

As the angry man's entire party, who appear to be his family, looks away or down from the cell phone camera, the older man then tells Ryan to “go away” several times.

Restaurant releases statement addressing video

Asbury Ale House posted in response to the incident, saying that the incident "was absolutely unacceptable, appalling and not something anyone should have to experience, especially not within our walls.”

“One of our guests used vile, hateful language toward another guest and frankly we’re as disgusted as you are. While we cannot control what people say we can control how we react to such hateful speech. We want to make sure everyone knows this person was asked to leave and will never return to the Asbury Ale House. Ever.”

The restaurant also said it fully supports getting law enforcement involved.

“This could've happened anywhere, and your staff handled it wonderfully by apologizing and not escalating an already tense situation. It was a pretty jarring experience for everyone involved,” Ryan responded to the alehouse statement.

Report a correction 👈 | 👉 Contact our newsroom