What if Santa moved to New Jersey? Tour his North Pole home!
Not for nothing, but as we approach another Christmas Eve, this commute from the North Pole has got to be taking its toll on Santa. I'm thinking it would be a much better idea if he were to move to New Jersey.
For one thing, he would be much better off using Jersey deer. They don't take any crap and would have no problem dealing with any Grinch that would show himself. They'd simply flip him the hoof.
Keeping Santa's belly wouldn't be a problem since we have the best food and soon will be getting legal weed to make him even more hungry. But one thing Santa would have to do to be able to afford our property taxes is to sell his home in the North Pole.
Here's the listing from Zillow:
"A winter lover’s paradise nestled on 25 idyllic acres. The property includes Santa’s main living quarters, a community of tiny elf homes, a state-of-the-art toy-making facility, garage with space for an all-weather sleigh and stables that board eight live-in reindeer, plus a bonus stall for red-nosed company."
"This year, the Clauses updated their home photos, and it looks like they have a few new additions to their home, including a stationary bike and newly-adopted pup."
It also comes with the Elf village. From Zillow:
"The elves live on-site in their own private accommodations. Like snowflakes, no two elf dwellings are exactly alike, as you can see from these three."
"RSVP for your spot at the table in the tiny farmhouse if you love a good dinner party. The open concept floor plan allows for the host to prepare nibbles while entertaining guests by a crackling fire."
"The rustic mini cabin is made of hand-hewn logs and brimming with personality...
".....which is evident from the serving cart stocked with sugary potions, and the butcher block desk that nods to the elf’s status as Head of Toys, Woodworking Division."
"Find serenity in the petite bamboo bungalow. The energy flow between the meditation space and yoga studio achieves perfect feng shui. Pull up a pouf to the sushi bar and relax with a cup of tea."
The quicker someone buys this house, the quicker we could get Santa in New Jersey. We'll even pump his gas, not that he would need it with those Jersey reindeer.
To see the whole Zillow listing for Santa's House, CLICK HERE.
The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Steve Trevelise. Any opinions expressed are Steve's own. Steve Trevelise is on New Jersey 101.5 Monday-Thursday from 7pm-11pm. Follow him on Twitter @realstevetrev.