Wendy's joins craze shoving fall down our throats

Can we talk? Is it just me or is life now a blur of time?

I don’t mean things are going by too quickly. I mean we’re living overlays of time. Can we stop it already with fall this and fall that when it’s still summer?

Sure, we think of Labor Day as end of summer but I know one chief meteorologist, rhymes with Zan Darrow, who will tell you we have summer right up until September 23 this year. That’s when the autumnal equinox arrives.

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It doesn’t arrive when Dunkin' tells it to just because they want a head start on selling pumpkin-flavored this and pumpkin-flavored that. It doesn’t arrive when Halloween decorations are placed on store shelves last week of freaking August.

And the latest company to implode this quaint concept of one thing at a time?

Getty Images/ TSM Illustration

Wendy’s.

Making its debut on September 12, with about 10% of summer still left before us mind you, is their Pumpkin Spice Frosty. Wendy’s describes it as having “hints of pumpkin and a blend of warm spices like cinnamon and nutmeg for a taste of familiar fall flavors in every bite.”

Oh shut up!

In another assault on our sense of time, they’re also debuting Pumpkin Spice Frosty Cream Cold Brew the same day. Why? Because they can.

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It was bad enough when retailers depressed every single school kid in the state of New Jersey before the Fourth of July was even here by advertising “back to school” stuff. Bad enough that you’ll probably be tripping over Christmas trees in Costco by the end of the month. Wendy’s just had to jump on this demonic time machine bandwagon.

Here’s the problem corporate America. It can’t be summer and fall at the same time. What don’t you get? When you can buy a beach chair, a Halloween costume and a Christmas tree on the same day, you’ve got a problem on your hands. It’s a cult I reject and I won’t drink your pumpkin spice Kool-Aid.

SWEET: Here are the most popular Halloween candies

LOOK: How Halloween has changed in the past 100 years

Stacker compiled a list of ways that Halloween has changed over the last 100 years, from how we celebrate it on the day to the costumes we wear trick-or-treating. We’ve included events, inventions, and trends that changed the ways that Halloween was celebrated over time. Many of these traditions were phased out over time. But just like fake blood in a carpet, every bit of Halloween’s history left an impression we can see traces of today.

Gallery Credit: Brit McGinnis

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Categories: Ultimate New Jersey