These hysterically cruel Christmas shows are right at home in NJ (Opinion)

Let’s face it Jersey. We’re kinda messed up. All attitude, always ready for a fight and full of dysfunction.

Remember when the NJEA tried to oust Senate President Steve Sweeney, a Democrat? That’s dysfunction. (Turns out a truck driver did what the most powerful teacher’s union in the state couldn’t. Also dysfunction.)

Remember when headlines told of political payback in the form of blocking Fort Lee traffic for the mayor not endorsing a governor? That’s dysfunction.

With this level of anger and dysfunction I’m counting on New Jersey having my back on a few Christmas specials that are just terrible.

First of all, I caught the original “Frosty the Snowman” the other night. Am I the only one who notices this morally bankrupt show is entirely premised on victim blaming? The only reason this stupid snowman comes to life is because a magician’s hat ends up on his head. These little thugs known as children were well aware it wasn’t their hat and they sure as hell knew it wasn’t Frosty’s. As far as I’m concerned this was stolen property.

The magician is made out to be the villain when all he’s trying to do throughout the entire show is get back what is rightfully his. Talk about victim blaming! Frosty might as well steal a car, run every toll on the Garden State Parkway then break into an Airbnb in Cape May. He’s a thief! So are his child accomplices. Terrible show.

Then there’s the abject dysfunction of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.“ Where do I even begin? This poor reindeer is a special needs kid with his red glowing honker. Santa sees the reindeer and immediately shows what a prick he is by rejecting him in the nastiest way. Within the first few minutes this claymation nightmare has revealed Santa as a cold-hearted jackass and not a loving, benevolent figure.

Rudolph’s own father is ashamed of him and tried to hide his disability. Does the district have any special program for him? None. And the bullying. No HIB investigations back then.

Also there’s the elf who identified as a dentist and was equally rejected for being different. Not to mention the master lesson in cruelty brought by the existence of an Island of Misfit Toys.

The message here was clear. Be in any way different and the world has the right to kick you squarely in the nuts. UNTIL mind you they need you. Once that foggy Christmas Eve comes and your disability has an advantage for them for which they can use you, cruelty suddenly has an addendum waiting.

Screw mean Santa, the mean elves, mean reindeer and everyone else involved in this moral catastrophe including Rankin and Bass themselves who made it.

Then there’s the ridiculous movie “The Christmas Shoes” made from the popular schmaltzy song of the same title. A man who isn’t in the Christmas spirit is in line behind a boy trying to buy shoes for his dying mother. She’s been sick for quite some time you see and she might “meet Jesus” that night. The man helps the boy afford the shoes and as the song says “I knew that God had sent that little boy to remind me just what Christmas is all about.”

Really?

So God purposely gave this woman who did nothing wrong cancer and had her wither away in a prolonged illness so that her innocent son about to go through the pain of being motherless can be there at the store that night short a few bucks on shoes just to remind this curmudgeon what Christmas means? Nice work, God. This is not my original thought. If you want to watch something absolutely hysterical check out this video of comic Patton Oswalt breaking down step by step the unnecessary cruelty of “The Christmas Shoes.”

If all we have are dysfunctional Christmas shows you’re certainly in the right state to watch them. Merry Christmas New Jersey!

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski. Any opinions expressed are Jeff Deminski's own.