NJ is eating sushi off conveyor belts like farm animals

I’ll admit I’m not the trendiest person in the world. I don’t care what’s in or what’s out. So maybe I’m not the best one to judge. But there’s a current restaurant trend that I find annoying.

Have you heard of these revolving sushi bars?

In the past few years, more and more are popping up in the Garden State.

No, it’s not like those fancy restaurants where the whole place slowly revolves, giving a 360-degree panoramic view. The revolving here is that a conveyor belt brings food out of the kitchen through a hole in the wall and you’re supposed to grab what looks good as it passes your table.

There’s Kura Revolving Sushi Bar with five New Jersey locations. Supra Revolving Sushi in Linden just opened. Shinjuku is in South Plainfield. Otter Fine Sushi and Beyond is another in Fort Lee.

Look, it’s cute, OK. It’s like a sushi version of Mr. Rogers' little choo choo train that would come barreling out of the wall. Cool. I guess?

But ultimately this gives me the creeps.

I’d rather just order exactly what I want than make a game of it where I have to eye up what’s being brought past me on an “I Love Lucy” conveyor belt and grab it in time. It’s undignified.

Have we become farm animals fed by machines? I mean, seriously, why not just shove us into cattle shoots and fire it directly into our mouths with a balling gun to keep the herd moving?

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Don’t think this sounds undignified? Allow me to point out an SNL Digital short called “Sushi Glory Hole.” The business concept is serving sushi through holes in the walls of bathroom stalls across the city. Two pitchmen perform the idea in song to a panel of utterly disgusted investors.

One line goes, “Sushi. Being. Fed. Through. A hole. In. A wall.” It’s funny because no one would ever try this in real life. Yet here we are, sushi being fed through a hole in a wall, in real life.

Need I say more?