Valentine's Day is routinely met with a lot of ridicule. You've heard it called a greeting card holiday I'm sure. Others will say something along the lines of, "You should be showering your significant other with love every day." Most of, if not all, of these people would no doubt love to see Valentine's Day removed from the calendar for the rest of time.

I say keep it. If you're in a relationship or are married, it's an automatic sex day built in to the worst month of the entire year. That's a gift, especially for those of you stuck in a sexless marriage.

Single? Great. Valentine's Day is perfect for dialing up that booty call of yours, y'know, if they're still single of course. The alternative is what? Eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream while watching Stranger Things on Netflix? That's actually not a terrible game plan, but sex with no strings attached is a way better one.

Now let's say, gun to your head, you had to eliminate one holiday from the calendar. What would it be? Maybe you have bad memories associated with Christmas, or you might be like Deminski and despise most Thanksgiving food. Perhaps you'd consider getting rid of one of our many useless holidays like Flag Day or Columbus Day.

Punxsutawney Phil Makes Annual Forecast On Groundhog Day
Getty Images

I for one am eliminating Groundhog Day. What a stupid and meaningless day centered around an oversized rat/squirrel hybrid that cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, predict the weather. But regardless, let's all gather 'round one particular groundhog in Pennsylvania to see if it notices its shadow. If he does see his shadow, six more weeks of winter are in store! If he doesn't, it's an early Spring! Or something like that. Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog in question, has not one clue about his role in this ridiculous tradition. If it did, we'd see more of a balance of rodents and humans in the meteorology field.

Let's strike this hollow and valueless holiday from the calendar once and for all. No one will notice, including Punxsutawney Phil or any hopeless groundhog.

What holiday would you eliminate if given the chance? Let us know on Twitter or in the comment section below!

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