10 totally Jersey things I’d do if I won a $520 million jackpot

Mega Millions ticket...check.

Powerball ticket...also check.

Ever since we resumed our lottery wishlist segments (where we vow to share our potential win with $2 million cuts with listeners, listen to the show for details) neither Mega Millions or Powerball has had a big winner. Their jackpots have grown to about half a BILLION dollars each.

But that still would leave plenty left over that a simple guy like me could never spend in a lifetime. So other than pay off and fix up my house, buy new cars and set up my kids with fat trust funds, what else would I do with it?

Here’s my list of 10 totally Jersey things I’d do if I won the lottery.

1) Buy a state senator and a state assemblyman. Hey, special interest groups and big business do it all the time, why not me? Only I would get them to pass first world problem laws such as make it illegal to leave your car parked at the gas pump while you take your sweet ol’ time inside the convenience store.

2) Pay prisoners to wear signs over their orange vests telling commuters what they’re in prisoner for as they pick litter from the sides of the highway.

3) Commission and fund a tell-all book written by a retiring toll collector, titled My Forty Years Of Doing Two Years’ Work.

4) Find the old blue prints for Edison Tower Playland and buy out whatever stands there on 27 now, demolish it, and rebuild the amusement venue exactly as it was.

5) Become an Uber driver and surprise customers by doing my own version of Cash Cab. Yes, I’d set up the flashing disco lights. Yes, I’d ask trivia questions. Yes, they’d win money. But I’d only do this in impoverished, underprivileged NJ cities like Camden, Paterson, etc. I’d want people winning the money who truly needed it.

6) I would make a sizable donation to every domestic violence emergency shelter in the state. (There are roughly 60,000 incidents of domestic violence reported in NJ each year. Imagine how many are not reported.)

7) I would hire a lobbyist to work the legislature to make it a 1st degree crime to eat pizza with a fork.

8) I would pay Bruce Springsteen (or his favorite charity) $3 million to come hang out at my house by the fire pit and leave his guitar at home. No music. Just talk. Beer mandatory.

9) I would buy Governor Phil Murphy a live-in orthodontist.

10) I would pay for every single beach badge in every single shore town for one year for the month of August. (I would say for the whole season but that would be about $40 million, I checked.)

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski. Any opinions expressed are Jeff Deminski's own.