Who’s done more teasing — Strippers at Bada Bing or the McRib? (Opinion)

In real life it’s called Satin Dolls. In “The Sopranos” universe you knew it as Bada Bing. Just like any strip club in New Jersey, the dancers had one mission. To be so good at teasing they’d make extra money. And would you look at the sexy McRibs on that girl?

Oh wait, that’s right, that’s not a dancer, that’s the most successful fast-food chain in history. They’ve both brought teasing to a high art form.

I was picking up a smoothie there (at McDonald’s, not Satin Dolls) for my daughter and I saw this sign at their drive-thru.

It kinda stopped me in my tracks. I mean the art of the tease is one thing. But here they are blatantly pointing out that it’s a tease. They 100% pull back the curtain and just admit it.

“Enjoy it like it’s your last.”

Wow.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re geniuses. McDonald’s in my opinion has outdone everyone else in a landslide when it comes to playing the limited-time offer game. If all other companies are playing checkers they’re playing chess.

Now believe it or not I never once in my entire life had a McRib. Not a rib person. From what I hear it’s not the greatest gift from the food gods but it’s a guilty pleasure. A guilty pleasure McDonald’s must have developed scientific algorithms to determine exactly when you’ve forgotten you were underwhelmed by the sandwich last time and long enough to make it sound appealing again.

Genius.

Even though I am a McRib virgin they’ve done this with plenty of other items. The one I always think of is their grilled chicken flatbread. They got me so hooked like it was meth. Then suddenly it was gone. It was the girl that got away.

My affair with this item reignited when it was reintroduced and then in a series of limited-time on-again, off-again dances it wore me out. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was tearing me apart.

So McRib fans, I may not be one of you but I feel ya. Like the sign says, enjoy it like it’s your last. Just like at the Bada Bing, closing time is near.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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