Can someone please tell Patricia Krentcil to stop wasting her time trying to challenge U.S. Senator Rick Scott for his seat? Oh, I’m not saying that she doesn’t have any business running for office. I’m saying there’s a higher calling.

First off, if the name doesn’t ring a bell then her media-given nickname will. New Jersey’s Tan Mom. Yes, that Patricia Krentcil. The woman who was wrongly accused of bringing her minor daughter into tanning beds in 2012. A grand jury refused to indict her.

Getty Images
Getty Images

Speaking of indictments, as in four of them, former President Donald Trump continues to crash and burn his way through every convention this nation ever stood by on what seems like an inexorable march toward the GOP nomination.

But he’ll need a running mate. It won’t be Mike Pence.

Now hear me out. You might think this is a ridiculous pairing and that Trump and Tan Mom have nothing in common. He was born rich she was far from it. He built a name for himself hers was thrust upon her.

But let’s look at what they do have in common.

Former President Donald Trump boards his personal plane at Miami International Airport
(AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

A desire to serve at the top levels of government having never held elected office before (Trump in 2015 and Krentcil in 2023).

A larger than life persona.

Both have been ridiculed by mainstream media.

And…they both like to tan!

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Getty Images

Not only that, what a coup to have a female on the ticket. That pesky little overturning of constitutionally protected access to abortion thing might be lessened by having a woman on the ticket.

More things in common. They both spent a lot of time in New Jersey and Florida.

They both are reality tv stars. Krentcil starred in this year’s “Tan to 10.” Trump starred in “The Apprentice.” summarizes Tan Mom’s show as,

The tannest woman in the world, Patricia Krentcil, attempts an extreme makeover with the help of a world famous plastic surgeon, drag queens, and best friends.

Now drag queens bring us to a bit of a hiccup for this dream ticket. The whole matter of Krentcil’s support of LGBTQ+ issues despite running as a Republican according to Would Trump MAGA supporters reject a Republican vice president who stood for diversity? Or would it balance the ticket?

Patricia "Tan Mom" Krentcil Visits XL Cabaret
Getty Images

Other commonalities? They’ve both declared bankruptcy. They’ve both appeared on “The Howard Stern Show.” They’ve both been around the adult film business, Trump being involved with Stormy Daniels and Krentcil having appeared in (but not engaging in sex or nudity in) “Kings of New York 2," a gay porn film.

So I think we at the very least need to have a meeting. Why bother with this Rick Scott thing when it’s Kamala Harris she could be unseating? This ticket could be huuuuuge.

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According to filings with the Federal Election Commission, these New Jersey residents have given the most money this year to former President Donald Trump's 2024 election campaign. These aggregate year-to-date totals are current as of June 30, 2023. These figures do not include donations to super PACs, which can raise and spend unlimited amounts.

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