SOUTH HACKENSACK — A weeping, desperate Singer Sinead O'Connor said in a video posted Thursday from the Travelodge in Teterboro she's suffering from suicidal tendencies and "three mental illnesses."

"There's absolutely nobody in my life except my doctor, my psychiatrist, the sweetest man on Earth, who says I'm his hero," O'Connor says in the video. "And that's about the only thing keeping me alive at the moment."

The video, which is just over 12 minutes long, comes from the motel in what O'Connor calls the "arse end of New Jersey." She labeled it with the hashtag #OneOfMillions.

In the video, she said she hopes her message will help not only herself but also others who do not have the same resources she does "in my heart or in my purse."

O'Connor said she is also working through kidney stones.

"I give so much love in my life and I just can't understand how a person can be left alone," she said. "Mental illness, you know, is a bit like drugs. It doesn't give a s**t who you are."

O'Connor said there is also a stigma that comes with mental illness that can push away people who might otherwise help. O'Connor said because of her own illness, she's sent angry emails that have pushed her on loved ones away.

"I'm not staying alive for me," she said. "If it was me I'd be gone, straight away back to my mom."

O'Connor said she believed the hashtag she used should be a "our f***ing catchphrase" for others battling mental illness. In the days since the video was posted, the hashtag has been used as a rallying point for people supporting O'Connor and others with mental illness.

Halfway through the video O'Connor, said she has spent two years "revolving around not dying and that's not living." She also calls out her children and the fathers of her children for allowing her to live in a Travelodge instead of being there for her.

"Please will somebody in my bloody family act like you give a s**t," she said, adding that strangers on Facebook show more interest in her well-being than loved ones or people in her life.

"Don't say you weren't f***ing warned," she added of the people in her life if they do not help her or others battling mental illness.

According to, an employee of the Travelodge had no record of O'Connor staying at the hotel. Other guests interviewed expressed surprise and confusion when told that they were living with a former megastar.

"I’d be very confused not just surprised that she’s here," guest Hamilton Richard said in the story.

The motel where O'Connor is staying sits just one mile from Teterboro Airport, into which famous celebrities are known to fly when visiting the area.

On Monday a post on O'Connor's Facebook page on her behalf said "she is safe, and she is not suicidal."

"She is surrounded by love and receiving the best of care," the statement continued.

South Hackensack Police Capt. Robert Kaiser told the Associated Press that officers had conducted a welfare check on O'Connor after the post became public and that she was not on the room at the time. Kaiser said she is no longer at the motel and that police did not know where she was.

The number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK.

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Information from the Associated Press was used in this report.

Contact reporter Adam Hochron at 609-359-5326 or

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