You need to see these hysterical Olive Garden pool noodles

When you’re here, you’re family. When you go home and get in the pool, you’re floating around on ridiculous looking giant tortellini.

Olive Garden is now offering something so crazy I legit thought this had to be a parody. A goof. The famous Italian restaurant chain is selling pool noodles through their website, except they look like actual noodles. Replica pasta, giant, big enough for adults to float on.

Except, would you?

Do you love your rigatoni that much you want to be seen floating on it? (Or...in it?) I guess…maybe? I mean, they do give it an inviting name.

The Relaxin’ Rigatoni Pool Noodle, for a mere $40.

Also on their pool noodles menu (see what I did there?) is fettuccine. This is how Olive Garden is describing these pool items on social media.

“The "Floatin' Fettuccine" is a flat float perfect for lounging, while the "Takin' It Easy Tortelloni" and "Relaxin' Rigatoni" feature open seating areas and hollowed-out middles, respectively.

Olive Garden's pasta shaped rafts

Each float comes with a complimentary "first course" item, such as a salad-inspired floating drink holder or a breadstick-adorned bucket hat.”

Or you could settle for the soup-er summer vibes tote bag. Yes, these ridiculous floating pasta shapes even come with these accessories.

You can order these starting Monday June 30.

Here’s the link with more information on how to look insane, eh, oops, I mean on how to get these cool things?

But I’m sorry, isn’t this a bit ludicrous? Or is this just a party I’m not invited to?

Does anyone love Olive Garden so much that they want their swimming pool filled with these things? If a drone passed over the picture it took could look like you’re lost in a giant bowl of pasta, like something out of “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.”

Hey, if you want to spend $40 to get inside inflatable rigatoni that’s between you and your pasta god. But even after I’ve seen multiple news reports on this and even when I am looking at it on their own site I’m having a hard time believing this is real.

Were Italian-Americans demanding this blowup merch? Or have we taken whimsy and flown it too close to the sun?

Although then we’d have overcooked fettuccine. And would that even float?

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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