So it turns out President Trump has been right all along; there is a lot of fake news being spread, only not by the news media. By substitute teachers. At least one, anyway.

The Cedar Hill elementary school in Montville, NJ was the scene of some major gaslighting recently when a substitute teacher got up in front of an entire 1st grade class and tried to convince them Santa Claus was a fake. A fraud. Doesn't exit. Yeah, right! How could there be so many Christmas specials and movies made about him? Where do all those toys come from that parents can't afford? And how do they always match what was on the list the kids hand to Santa when they meet him? Oh yeah, and they met him! Duh!!!

So these poor kids were likely to believe in such fake news thus have the magic of Christmas completely destroyed for them. Hopefully their parents explained to them some sad people in this world just want to be the story rather than present true facts, like this substitute teacher, and Jim Acosta. Hopefully these kids will have their holiday pieced back together.

Seriously though, what kind of reprobate takes it upon themselves to do something like this with other people's kids? The school's principal sent a letter to families explaining what happened and added, "As a father of four myself, I am truly aware of the sensitive nature of this announcement." The letter said he was informing parents "so that you are aware of the situation and if the conversation comes up at home over the next few days you can take appropriate steps to maintain the childhood innocence of the holiday season."

The substitute teacher was never named. I hope they never work around children again. But is even that enough? I don't think so. I feel there ought to be some sort of punishment here. Unfortunately I can't find a law against this per se. If there were however, I think any one of the following punishments would be called for in theory.

Hermie The Elf turned dentist drills all of your teeth without novocaine.

You. The Bumble. Two words. Cage match.

Dismantle an improvised explosive device in a blizzard without the aid of Rudolph's red nose.

Affix antlers onto Grinch's dog's head, except now Grinch's dog is a pit bull.

Shoot your eye out with an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle.

If you can think of any more, we'll gladly take your suggestions in the comment section.

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