Go ahead, America. We’re used to it. Insult us some more. Pile it on. We’re nothing but factories and hazmat sites. Yep. We’re all gym tan laundry dopes or high haired Snooki tramps. Right. We get it. We suck. Oh? You have more? Let’s hear it.

Big Seven Travel took another poll this year asking which accents are the most alluring across our country. New Jersey wound up dead last. In 2019 they did the same poll and we came in 49th. Yep, it got worse.

Now this wasn’t always broken down purely by state. Example, there’s apparently a difference between Southern Ohio and Northern Ohio because Southern Ohio ranked 41st. And Louisiana isn’t ranked as an accent per se but Cajun is, which ranked 18th.

Wait. What?!

So toothless redneck swamp people hunting alligators sound sexier than we do? Riiiiight.

Also since North Jersey and South Jersey have very different accents why weren’t we afforded the same separation as Southern Ohio? And since the North Jersey accent is arguably so close to a New York accent how did New York rank 2nd and we ranked 50th?

Boston at 3rd? Get the hell out of here! Hearing a woman from a Massachusetts talk dirty to you would be like listening to nails on a chalkboard from inside a wood chipper.

But here we are. The least sexy accent in the United States. All I know is there’s a certain Jersey girl whose voice I always love waking up to and it’s the sweetest sound in the world. No French accent, southern drawl, rare songbird or angel’s harp can hold a candle to it.

Top 50 sexiest accents in United States: 2020

50th. New Jersey
49th. Long Island
48th. Floridian
47th. Minnesotan
46th. Pittsburgh
45th. Alaskan
44th. Pennsylvania Dutch
43rd. Appalachian
42nd. California Valley
41st. Southern Ohioan
40th. Providence
39th. Tallahassee
38th. “Hoi Toider”
37th. San Francisco
36th. Hudson Valley
35th. Cincinnati
34th. Cleveland
33rd. Milwaukee
32nd. Western
31st. New Orleans
30th. Oklahoma
29th. Colorado
28th. Virginia Piedmont
27th. Kansas
26th. Connecticut
25th. Charleston
24th. Ozark
23rd. General American
22nd. New Mexican
21st. Atlanta
20th. Baltimorese
19th. Tennesseean
18th. Cajun
17th. Midwestern
16th. Yooper
15th. St. Louis
14th. Chicano
13th. Hawaiian
12th. Mississippi
11th. Miami
10th. Kentucky
9th. Northwestern
8th. Mainer
7th. Philadelphia
6th. Californian
5th. Chicago
4th. Alabama
3rd. Bostonian
2nd. New York
1st. Texan

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski. Any opinions expressed are Jeff Deminski's own.