Sad adjective
Regrettable, deplorable

Sad adjective
Not seeing a single Oscar nominated film

This article is all about sad. Which I am. As in pathetic. As in how did it come to this?

I carefully read through Tuesday’sannounced Academy Award nominees and realized for the first time in my life I hadn’t seen a single nominated movie. Not. a. single. one.

Not only had I not seen one, I hadn’t even heard of many of them.

“The Banshees of Inisherin”

“The Fabelmans”


What? Am I in another country? Is this real life?

Worse? I haven’t even seen New Jersey-born Tom Cruise’s “Top Gun: Maverick.” The movie nominated for an Oscar that would be favored by those of us too low brow for the Oscars. The movie that continues the story I first saw when I was in my 20’s. I should have been dying to see this. I should have been doing a Gen-X happy dance all the way to the theater. But no.

"Top Gun: Maverick" Japan Premiere Red Carpet
Getty Images for Paramount Pictu

Then it got worse. Much, much worse.

Already feeling old and realizing in the middle of divorce that I have zero social life, I made the mistake of looking at the list of nominated actresses and actors.

I only knew who half of them were.

Somewhere my father is looking down on me with sweet revenge for the time I laughed at him for not knowing who Mitch Hedburg was. It’s all coming full circle.

Thank God Jimmy Kimmel is hosting the Academy Awards this year. It’s like when you only know one person at a party and you cling to their side for dear life.

One last thing. When did the list of Best Picture nominees grow into the size of a phone book? Didn’t it used to be like 5? And what do you mean “what’s a phone book?” Get off my lawn!

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