Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, allow me to make my case that the red-nosed reindeer you see before you by the name of Rudolph is a broken animal.

He suffered years of abuse at the hands of bullies and an uncaring system. You may know the story as a classic fun Christmas tale. We intend to prove it is a New Jersey harassment intimidation and bullying case that needs remediation.

When this young buck was born, he was different. He was rejected by his own father who tried to emotionally distance himself from the boy because he was ashamed of his disability. The disability being one shiny red honker.

This prick of a reindeer Donner that was Rudolph’s father even abused the child by covering his nose in dirt and mud to try to conceal his disability from the world, thus cutting off part of Rudolph’s airway. This alone is a child abuse case.

I submit to you exhibit A.

When Santa Claus enters the picture things only get worse. The callous discrimination against my client’s disability shown by Santa needs to be addressed.

The taunting by his fellow students is clearly in violation of New Jersey’s harassment intimidation and bullying code (OK so this happened at the North Pole just hear me out and go along with it). The coach, instead of properly addressing the violations, makes things even worse than serves as the ringleader of the bullying.

All this can be seen in exhibit B.

All this leaves Rudolph a broken reindeer, emotionally scarred, and sends him into a downward spiral living a life on the streets as a minor.

The only false redemption this poor creature ever knew was one lousy Christmas when bad weather set in and these unimaginable bastards simply used his disability for their own gain. This was never a heartfelt epiphany of their wrongdoing. This was a cold and calculated leveraging of Rudolph’s disability to their own advantage.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we cannot give Rudolph his years back but we can send a message to the rest of the world in hopes this never happens again. We ask you to award my client Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer $100 million for his pain and suffering.

Payment in the form of Yukon Cornelius-style gold nuggets will suffice.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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