Over Half of Newlyweds Don’t Have Sex On The Wedding Night

Fifty-two percent of newlywed couples forgo sex on their wedding night, according to a survey reported by Colorado News Day. What was the number one reason? The groom was too drunk to perform. The second most common reason is that the bride was too tired (on her wedding night!?), and the third was that the bride was too drunk.

That third one is exactly the situation I found myself in on my wedding night. My new bride had enjoyed herself a little too much at the reception and passed out on the jungle themed bed. After an hour or so I figured she was out for the night, so I ordered a steak from room service and watched college football. I also watched Saturday Night Live and saw Sinead O'Connor tear up a picture of the pope. I hope I get that as a Jeopardy question some day: When did Sinead O'Connor insult the pope on SNL? October 3rd, 1992.