I wasn’t planning on writing about New Jersey’s dumb ban on self-serve gasoline when I woke up this morning. Then I saw this piece on NJ.com that assumes A) we’re all stupid and need a video tutorial of how to pump gas and B) no one here wants self-serve.

First, watch this video. If this doesn’t make you angry then you’re just as dumb as the video assumes you are.

So much wrong with this. One of the steps is realizing there’s no one there to help you? We don’t live in a bubble. We are well aware when we travel outside of New Jersey we will be pumping our own gas. It doesn’t take us by surprise. Nor do we need a video to figure out the intricate complexities of this arduous process.

Also, what’s with step number 4? Do people in NJ really not know where there gas cap is and not know that you may have to release the gas cap door from inside the car? Every time you’ve gotten your precious, luxurious full-serve gas you have to release the same interior switch, don’t you?

Of course the article had to include this infuriating quote from former Assemblyman John Wisniewski who once chaired the transportation committee: “I think it’s a Jersey-ism that’s here to stay. I can’t imagine the circumstances that would cause an about-face. It’s something that is unique about our state. It doesn’t hurt anybody.”

Doesn’t hurt anybody? Wasting my time hurts me. Trust me John Wisniewski, I know more about my life than you do, and wasting my time hurts me.

To be fair at least this piece recognizes that some hate the ban on self-serve gas. But I believe the overall tone greatly underestimates just how many of us hate it. We have taken advantage of buying stamps from a machine in the lobby instead of a postal worker at the counter. We use self-serve checkouts to save time and not wait in longer lines. We now buy our own airline tickets and rent our own cars and hotel rooms online. We order sandwiches at QuickChek from kiosks. Self-serve technology is all around us.

Get with the 20th century New Jersey (yes self-serve gas first came to our state in 1949 before we stupidly banned it) and allow the consumer the choice of self-serve gas!

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