Take a look at what some whimsical company has for sale on Amazon. It’s real 007 spy car stuff.

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With Garden State traffic and New Jersey drivers being what they are, you know which of those three buttons is going to get the most workout.

So this listing got me thinking what other pretend gadgets and fantasy gizmos would listeners say they most want. Well, we asked.

First we threw out our own examples. Bill would only want a zipper-style messaging system for his rear window to communicate with other drivers. Trust me, it would not be messages like “Have a blessed day!” Turns out they already sell these potential road rage causers.

All I want is something that defies the laws of physics and does not exist. A button that when pressed will make the car and driver blocking the left lane dematerialize (think beam me up on Star Trek) and then rematerialize let’s say floating in outer space near the rings of Saturn.

So what did some listeners say? Here are some examples.

Mike wants the Traffic Eraser 3000. That’s basically a vaporizer that instantly disintegrates slow vehicles in front of you. Yikes! What’s going to happen when the 4000 comes out?!

driving car on highway, close up of hands on steering wheel
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Not nearly as brutal, Doc told us through the chat feature on the NJ101.5 app all he wants is an egg launcher. Just don’t try it on Mike, Doc, that’s not a fair fight.

Also through the app, Christina says she’d want something that could turn her car into a bumper car so she could finally ram annoying people but safely.

Joe called in to sing the praises of all the gadgetry on the old Mach 5 cartoon. Yes, he wants those buzzsaws.

Mike wants (and has actually worked on) an electromagnetic pulse that can disable the circuitry of other cars and stop them dead in their tracks.

Missy called to say she wants the Big Three to embed technology in vehicles that would not allow lane changes unless you first have a turn signal on. Your steering wouldn’t respond. Half of New Jersey would riot if this happened.

Finally, Jeff had a perfect non-lethal idea for tailgaters. That car behind you won’t back off? You release a stink bomb that permeates their car unless they’re at a safe distance.

Happy motoring New Jersey!

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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