Eat paste and freeze the Blob! Uncle Floyd for president!

Are you sick of watching Donald Trump square off against Hillary Clinton for the presidency of our great country? Do you wait, like Bruce says, "for a savior to rise from these streets."

Well wait no longer. The solution to who would make the next great president of the United States is right here in New Jersey, and his name is Uncle Floyd!

You want endorsements?? Try David Bowie and John Lennon.

Uncle Floyd will never be involved in an e-mail scandal. In fact the man doesn't even own a cell phone!

You'll never see Uncle Floyd wearing pantsuits. They would never go with his jacket and hat, which also means no ridiculous hairstyle!

Uncle Floyd will never misquote the facts. He doesn't do facts; he does jokes!

Uncle Floyd will end political correctness! Uncle Floyd not only pays his taxes, but child support as well!

It's time to stop this chump-sillariness.

Vote for the man loved by former president Richard Nixon, the man who'd been a friend to Robin Williams:

Uncle Floyd for President! What could possibly go wrong that hasn't already?