If you’re a listener of the “Deminski & Doyle Show” on New Jersey 101.5, you may have heard my take on bumper stickers. They’re never funny. Never. I’ve never seen a single one that even slightly made me grin let alone audibly chuckle. Nor titter, guffaw or chortle.

Bumper stickers are the friends who make dumb, unfunny jokes and expect you to give at least a gratuitous lol while you’re not even close to loling.

I’ve even challenged people to win money from my own pocket by calling in a bumper sticker they’ve seen and if it made me even slightly laugh I’d send them money. I’ve never lost. That’s how unfunny bumper stickers are.

Well on 78 East Thursday morning I caught this guy.

Photo via Jeff Deminski
Photo via Jeff Deminski
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Now look. It’s his car. If he wants to turn his vehicle into a rolling mural that would short circuit people with ADHD that’s his right. But I lost count around 30 something. Isn’t this, as author Pat Conroy once described New York City, “too much of too much?”

I can’t make out a single thing in this mess. And I don’t need to. If it’s not espousing some worn-out political sentiment then it’s citing some scientific falsehood or it’s declaring they’d “rather be fishing.”

So if bumper stickers just aren’t hitting home with me, perhaps it’s just a relatability problem. I went on a hunt to see if there are any New Jersey-themed stickers that would make me at least smirk.

MadeULaugh on CafePress
MadeULaugh on CafePress
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From the eight years Chris Christie was in office. Because he’s so overweight he’d eat other governors. I get it. Just didn’t make me laugh. Maybe if I ate funnier people?

MadeULaugh on CafePress
MadeULaugh on CafePress
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Not only did I not crack a smile, but I was unclear on whose car this is meant for, the man’s or the woman’s.

WeirdNJ on Amazon
WeirdNJ on Amazon
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Alright, this one paying tribute to Weird NJ is an economical pack of nine and is definitely visually arresting just not funny.

MadeULaugh on CafePress
MadeULaugh on CafePress
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This was the closest to a smile but still fell short. When it comes to bumper stickers it’s kind of like this university, does it look like I give a xxxx?

MadeULaugh on Cafe Press
MadeULaugh on Cafe Press
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This final one serves as a full summation of my position on bumper stickers.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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