Admit it ... you think you're the better friend in your friendships with others. If you agree, you might be surprised to learn that when it comes to most friendships - no one is the better friend.

Shasta Nelson, a nationally recognized friendship expert and founder of, researched this very topic for a book she wrote called Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness.

Nelson polled over 1,000 women about their friendships, and the results on the subject of "the better friend," are staggering. At least we thought they were!

According to an interview Nelson gave to CafeMom where she talked about the results of her survey, 60 percent of those polled indicated that they do more of the giving in their friendships. Only 26 percent believe they have equally balanced friendships.

So what's going on here? We can't possible all be the better friend. According to what Nelson told CafeMom, a lot of people enjoy playing the role of the giver, until they don't because resentment sets in.

You can probably think of a few examples in your friendships where you felt like you were giving more than you were getting, and you came to resent that role. Sometimes we play that role when someone in our life is going through something traumatic, like the loss of a spouse, but if you always find yourself in that role and you've grown to resent it, having a conversation with your friend and telling her what you need probably would be in the best interest for both of you. But perhaps standing for a moment in your friend’s shoes, you may see that they are giving too, perhaps just not the same way as you.

And one thing that all of us needs to keep in mind when it comes to friendships, according to what Nelson told CafeMom, is that we all bring different things to the table, and "none of us brings everything."

But what if you really are giving too much in a friendship? That's just part of what Annette and Megan talk about in the latest Forever 39 podcast — listen above.

And once we stop and examine our friendships, we'll probably realize that no one is the better friend! However, if you're still convinced you're doing too much giving, and you're friend isn't doing enough, check out these signs from Thought They might help you determine if your hunch is right.

Also from this week's Forever 39 podcast — Are you annoying others when you post your vacation photos on social media? PLUS: Couples who wait to divorce. Click on the podcast player above to hear the entire episode.

Share your thoughts on all of them below, on Twitter, on Facebook or at

— Annette and Megan, Forever 39

Join us for next week’s podcast when we chat about open relationships, tipping, and dating again after loss.

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