Big time Christmas drama in the Swedesboro-Woolwich school district. A man has been working as a long term substitute teacher this year in a 4th grade classroom. The kids had requested the classroom have its own Elf on the Shelf. The teacher, apparently not having his own elf-aged children to teach him the nuances complied, but had no clue that a human is never to touch the elf or else it loses its magic. Of course, as parents have known since 2005, if the Elf on the Shelf loses its magic it can no longer send intelligence reports to Santa (or elf-in-chief if you’d prefer) on who’s been nice or naughty.

So one day a student asked the teacher if he had been moving the elf and thinking nothing of it he admitted he had.

The district’s superintendent Kristin O’Neil explained to, “The substitute teacher was unaware of the Elf on the Shelf tradition and learned what he knew directly from the students. While this is a very unfortunate incident, there was no malice intended by the substitute teacher.”

The teacher apologized to the classroom and the vice principal had to call each parent to explain what happened and presumably talk them off the ledge. This was probably the biggest scandal to ever hit Swedesboro-Woolwich. I notice they never identified the teacher by name. When you drop a nuclear bomb like this on a child’s Christmas magic is there a form of holiday witness protection that one is placed into? Is there any coming back from this? You have to hope their regular teacher returns before April so he doesn’t tell the kids disparaging lies about the Easter Bunny.

Gotta love the holidays!

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