Robbinsville tragedy: NJ principal says rushing to school not worth losing life

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following is a version of a letter to parents by the principal of St. Gregory the Great Academy in Hamilton, where students have siblings who attend Robbinsville High School. Jason Briggs reacts to the news on Tuesday that a Robbinsville schools Superintendent Steven Mayer had died after being hit by a car while jogging.

The car was being driven by a 17-year-old student at Robbinsville High School, which is where she was headed when she struck Mayer just before sunrise, police said. The student has not been charged as the investigation continues. Authorities also have not yet released further details into the circumstances of the crash.

Dear Parents,

Undoubtedly, you have read the reports or seen the newscasts explaining the tragedy that occurred today in Robbinsville that led to the passing of Dr. Steven Mayer, Superintendent of Schools. Naturally, the first question that comes to mind is “Why?” Unfortunately, there are no good answers that our human minds can discern when we try to make sense of such a tragedy.

A superintendent is very much the leader of a giant family, and it falls to leaders to console the family when a tragedy occurs. What makes this situation so difficult is that it is in fact the leader, the person that everyone looks to for guidance, who is no longer there.

As I have been thinking about these events some thoughts have occurred to me, in terms of relationships and practical matters.

Relationships.

When we take a good look at what we do each day, whether it is at home, school, or at work, we can quickly come to the realization that relationships are the common thread. Indeed, I assert that we spend our days tending to all sorts of relationships. We are social beings; very little that we do can occur in a vacuum.

Beloved by his home and school district families alike, Dr. Mayer clearly fostered countless important relationships. This is one of the reasons such a terrible and sudden loss is so shocking, and then hurtful.

So many relationships are severed with no warning. Only God knows the day and the hour at which any person will depart this life for the next. Sadly, as the Mayer family and the Robbinsville School District family have painfully been forced to endure, we do not always get to put a “period” or a “finishing touch” on relationships. Sometimes they are severed with little or no warning.

What can we learn from this? To me, the lesson is clear: The relationships that we have with God, family, friends, and everyone in our lives should be, must be in fact, as authentic as they possibly can. To be blunt, we never know when a relationship with someone we care very much about will be severed with little or no warning.

It is frighteningly easy to become so caught up in the worldly hustle and bustle of life — work, baseball, social engagements, cheer, karate, dance, meetings, etc. — that we can sometimes function more as automatons and less as people, and neglect our relationships in the name of how busy we are.

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to remind us of how lucky we are, and how important it is to nurture our relationships with those who we love and care about.

In the face of the tragic loss, let us learn one final lesson from this accomplished educator: put people first and nurture every important relationship in your life. Don’t simply be in the room or one part of six simultaneous text messages; be present to those whom you love and care about.

A more practical line of thinking has also been on my mind today.

I have no more knowledge about the specifics of today’s accident than what has been reported in the news. I am most certain, however, that the driver involved in no way planned for this accident to occur. According to the news, a student was rushing to make a bus for a trip and made a horrific mistake while driving, leading to this terrible outcome.

Think about this for a moment: How many times have we been in a rush to get someplace and “cut corners” or were more focused on the destination than the process of driving there? Again, we are busy, scheduled, overworked, trying not to be late for school, etc. Have we ever picked up a cell phone to glimpse at an incoming text message? (no indication was reported that this happened in this case, but it is a frequent distraction).

What can we learn here? No timeline, late slip, punishment, or missed connection is worth risking a tragedy like the one that happened today.

I am certain that the driver today would do anything to turn back time and undo what happened today, regardless of what trouble or disappointment may have resulted from being late.

On a more local level, how many times do individuals drive into our own school lot focused on beating the bell, avoiding a late slip, or trying to get to work on time? Of course, no person would set out in the morning with the intention of hurting or killing someone in our parking lot, just as the driver in today’s tragedy surely did not set out this morning with the intention of killing Dr. Mayer.

Accidents can and do happen, and the chances of such accidents increase when we rush or are impatient. Sometimes I see people speeding in the lot. Sometimes I see people pulling out of line and dropping children off near my parking place on the island because they do not want to wait in line. Sometime I see people who cut others off because they are not happy with the time that they are taking. To all of this, I make the following direct statements with as much love and respect as I possibly can:

CUT IT OUT.

STOP IT.

EVERYONE HAS SOMEPLACE TO BE.

YOU ARE NOT ANY MORE IMPORTANT THAT THE REST OF THE PEOPLE BRINGING THEIR CHILDREN TO SCHOOL.

KNOCK OFF THE UNSAFE PRACTICES. A LATE SLIP IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.

MY OWN CHILDREN GET THEM AND I AM THE PRINCIPAL.

IF YOU PLAN TO DO ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES WAIT IN THE DROP-OFF LINE, PARK YOUR CAR IN A DESIGNATED PARKING PLACE AND WALK YOUR CHILDREN IN.

If this offends you, feel free to call me up or email me to complain as I welcome 20+ angry emails if it prevents me from ever having to report a similar tragedy in our lot.

When we learn of tragedies, it is always someone else ... until one day it is not.

Let us learn another final lesson from Dr. Mayer’s untimely death as well: accidents can happen to anyone and can be caused by otherwise sweet and caring people. The lives of the Mayer family members will never be the same, nor will the life of a 17-year-old girl who was running late simply trying to make it to school on time. Let us learn from this. It is always someone else ... until it is not.

Don’t forget to be present to all of those whom you have important relationships with. Drive in our school lot as if your own children are on the campus — because they are!

— Jason Briggs, Principal