Some of my female co-workers were talking about the upcoming Barbie movie - a real-life movie based on the iconic doll. It's coming out this summer and features Barbie, Ken, and their plastic friends, living in a plastic town.

The girls were trying to decide "which Barbie they were."

(How about "Shut up and get back to work Barbie")

(I kid because I love.)

You know there have been literally dozens or hundreds, or thousands of Babies through the years: Astronaut Barbie, Pilot Barbie, Barbie Dreamhouse, Bathing Suit Barbie, Talking Barbie, Malibu Barbie.....

(Hey! I have sisters!)

The Biggest Barbie Collection Auctionned At Christies
Getty Images
loading...

Meanwhile, there was, like, one Ken.

Get our free mobile app

All this Barbie talk got me thinking - what if there was a New Jersey Barbie? What would she be like?

I quickly realized, that one Jersey Barbie just wouldn't do.

Nope, we'd need a North Jersey Barbie, a South Jersey Barbie, and a Central Jersey Barbie. (Although, many would argue there would be no need for the latter since Central Jersey doesn't exist.)

Holiday Toy Shopping
Getty Images
loading...

 

Anyway, three distinctive Barbies. Check these out:

North Jersey Barbie:

She's got the big hair (even in 2023), the "Joisey" accent, and her Ken is probably "connected."  North Jersey Barbie loves New York, Bruce Springsteen, and might be a little stuck up. She identifies with her exit and is definitely Italian.

Mattel Inc. Shows Barbies In Fashion AT Toy Show
Getty Images
loading...

Central Jersey Barbie:

She either hangs out or works in a diner. Snookie is her personal hero. She only shops at the mall. Central Jersey Barbie is somewhat of a pizza expert. Her Ken is in a band.

The Top 'Must Have' Christmas Toys For 2017
Getty Images
loading...

South Jersey Barbie:

She's a little backwoods. She might even be a Piney. She loves Morgan Wallen. Philadelphia is her city, and Wawa is her place. She loves pork roll, and she loves crabs. Her Ken is a lifeguard.

So, how did we do? Let us know in the comments.

The Biggest Barbie Collection Auctioned At Christies
Getty Images
loading...

 

Check out the new trailer for the Barbie movie:

If anyone needs me, I'll be hanging out in the Barbie Dream Camper.

A Real-Life Barbie Dream House: Look Inside This Pink Mansion in Massachusetts

This is my new dream home for soo many reasons.

A Real Life Barbie Playhouse For Sale In Ann Arbor

If you're a Barbie girl in a Barbie world, prepare to have your mind blown...

More From New Jersey 101.5 FM