NJ themed Great Adventure Fright Fest
It happens every fall. As the darkness falls ever earlier and the dead grow restless, as zombies’ hankering for brains won’t be denied and Halloween draws near, Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey comes through with Fright Fest.
There are Six Flags across the country. Six Flags Over Texas, Six Flags St. Louis, Six Flags Magic Mountain, Six Flags Discovery Kingdom, but there’s only one Six Flags Great Adventure.
Here, we don’t say Six Flags. We just call it Great Adventure. It’s a Jersey thing. And Great Adventure is one of the greatest Jersey things of all. At it since the 1970’s it’s one of Jersey’s gems.
So I was thinking, Great Adventure being synonymous with New Jersey and all, what if this year’s Fright Fest were all Jersey-themed?
How?
Jersey-specific frights, of course.
Imagine…
The first attraction, having your life depend on getting a live human to answer the phone at the Department of Labor.
Next, sit at an old, creaky desk covered in cobwebs, and slowly open your property tax bill.
Followed by an army of lumbering ghouls all sporting Gov. Murphy's new hairstyle chasing you around the park as you scream.
Then climb inside the NJ teacher simulator, where you're fired for using the wrong pronoun for a student.
Feel the claustrophobic panic as you're buried alive inside a New Jersey pothole.
Next on to The Telltale Heart-less Neighbor where they call the police on you for watering your lawn during a drought.
Wait on line four hours at the Motor Vehicle Commission ride only to have their computers go down when you're next.
Finally, for a Jersey-themed Fright Fest, a Jersey corn maze that's easy to get out of but they charge you an exit tax.
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