When you think of the Thanksgiving table you think of turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, string beans, maybe some pumpkin pie for dessert. Then afterwards you fall asleep watching the football game. Know why? Because the Thanksgiving meal is the most boring meal on the planet. Why do you think they smoked the "peace pipe" first? They needed the munchies just to eat it, the Thanksgiving meal needs macaroni to make it a holiday.

Let's face it, turkey is not a headliner. It's barely a feature. When was the last time you ordered a Thanksgiving dinner in a Jersey diner? You want to give thanks? You start with antipasto, which is assorted cold cuts, cheeses (including fresh mozzarella), olives, vegetables, salads etc. Then comes the soup.

Next, a big plate of macaroni, covered in red gravy, with a bowl of meats consisting of meatballs, sausage, pork butt, and bracciole. Antipasta needs to be followed by pasta, otherwise it's incomplete. You wouldn't want an incomplete Thanksgiving would you?

After you take a break, then you serve the anti-climactic turkey dinner which people will only eat out of sympathy and tradition followed by a dessert of assorted pies, cookies, and pastries. Now THAT'S a meal to give thanks for!

I'm thinking that's the meal Christopher Columbus would have served if he were at Thanksgiving instead of those boring pilgrims.

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