Here’s how we fix ‘Monopoly’ (Opinion)
Will it ever stop? First Hasbro tried to take the "Mister" out of Mister Potato Head. That didn't work, as after public outcry they decided to leave him alone. Now Hasbro has decided to makeover Monopoly to be more socially conscious. This should make the world a better place. But if Hasbro really wants to update the board game patterned after the streets Atlantic City, I'll play.
First off, you have to change the name. There can be no "monopolies" we have laws against that in this country. We could call it "Sorry" where players who make too much money have to apologize and give some of it to those who haven't been able to make enough. Oh wait, there already is a "Sorry" Cancel that! You know how they love to cancel.
Since it's Atlantic City, you would now put hotels and casinos on your property and only open them to pandemic capacity. but as John Manzo says "In order to build a hotel, you must build a park and low/mod income housing first."
Hasbro says all of the 16 "community chests" cards will be changed. According to the Monopoly Fandom, Community Chest was Atlantic City's forerunner to the United Way. Here are some updated possibilities:
How about instead of "You have won second prize in a beauty contest collect $i0" We make it "You have won a participation trophy for being in a beauty contest, collect $10 just for being you."
"Advance to go" could be, "get the hell out of here."
"Doctor's fees. Pay $50." Updated would be, "Doctor Fee, Co-pay $50."
"Hospital fees, pay $50" becomes, "your benefits do not cover that, pay or die
Income tax refund collect $20. In New Jersey are they kidding?
"School fees pay $50" becomes "School Fees" pay 80 % of your property taxes
"Receive $25 dollar consulting fee" becomes "take the money and shut up. Just make sure you remember who gave it to you come voting time."
Go directly to Jail could be either as comedian John Kensil says, "Instead of 'Go Straight To Jail,' it’s 'wearing an ankle bracelet and call your probation officer every morning.'"
Or as Ray Koob suggested, "You no longer go directly to jail, but pass through an exhaustive appeal and bail process in keeping with your right of being innocent until proven guilty."
You would have to change some street names.
From Bob O'Brien, "Oriental Avenue becomes Asian American Avenue."
We must also take those here illegally into account.
Keith Vena suggests, "Undocumented Citizens Do Pass Go and get free parking along with Social Subsides as well as home with a fully paid mortgage and no taxes to pay!!"
Here's some more great suggestions from my Facebook following.
How NJ would fix 'Monopoly' to be more PC
The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Steve Trevelise. Any opinions expressed are Steve's own. Steve Trevelise is on New Jersey 101.5 Monday-Thursday from 7pm-11pm. Follow him on Twitter @realstevetrev.