TV Dinner Don’ts!

Warning: This blog might not be for the squeamish!

In the movie “Avalon”, producer and writer Barry Levinson was portraying the story of how the television has replaced the venerable older generation as the “storyteller” at the dinner table.

There’s one poignant scene in the movie where the grandfather, after losing his beloved wife, is sitting at the dinner table with his son’s family, and in the background, the TV is on, probably tuned to something like “Roy Rogers”!

TV at dinnertime! How many times have you heard, “…turn off the TV, we’re eating dinner!”

Especially now….now that TV commercials have gotten that much more graphic.

My wife likes to watch “M.A.S.H.” reruns during dinner, which isn’t so bad….that is, until the commercials come on!

Two in a row made me want to vomit in my mouth.

You’ve seen the campaign advertising for toilet paper. There’s the one with the women talking about what “everyone wants out of their bathroom tissue, but no one wants to talk about”.

And the one with the bears….the ones with the toilet paper stuck to their butts.

Didn’t make the broccoli rabe go down too well.

It gets better.

Now the bears can use the same toilet paper that will offer you the same type of clean especially if you “go in chunks”.

God help me, this is no joke!

(I guess sandblasting would be out of the question.)

Then there’s the one for Clorex! The one where the little boy is so proud of himself that he runs over to mommy to tell her that he just made “poo poo”…only to have her inspect the bowl and find nothing there!

Long story short, she finds it in the washing machine.

Taa Daah! Out comes the Clorox.

Made me want to pass on the sweet potatoes.

You get the drift. Commercials have gotten so graphic today that they need to come with a warning. “Contents of the following may cause gastrointestinal upset!”

After all, who knew men “of a certain age” could be so resourceful when it comes to pulling a pickup truck out of the mud with a couple of horses, but when it comes to doing what comes natural, ahh, there you need the little blue pill!

(Although, as I mentioned on the show last week, if you’re a Medicare recipient and can show a medical necessity, the government will qualify you for a penis pump! Surprised THAT commercial hasn’t come up ((bad pun)) during the M.A.S.H. reruns!)

As I said, TV commercials during dinner, not for the squeamish!