These 9 Christmas songs need to be banned immediately (Opinion)
Have you heard political correctness is winning? Have you heard that the attack on the Christmas classic "Baby It's Cold Outside" of the past few years has now resulted in a couple of big names redoing the song? John Legend and Kelly Clarkson have taken it upon themselves to remake it, and the words, into a P.C. monstrosity. It drops November 8, and it should be dropped from the entire planet.
"Baby It's Cold Outside" was a playful, flirty song done at a time when premarital sex was scandalous and social norms were quite different than today. So the P.C. police have tried to demonize the song and turn it into a date rape anthem just because the male in the song is trying to playfully talk the female into staying the night, ignoring the fact the female is clearly wanting to be talked into it.
Some of the new lyrics John Legend came out with?
What would my friends think...
I think they should rejoice
if I had one more drink?
it's your body and your choice
Ugh! Stop it already! Shame on both of you for lending your voices to such nonsensical virtue signaling!
So I suggested on the show this song needs to be banned the moment it comes out, which led to listeners calling in other Christmas songs they would like banned for one reason or another. Here's what else made the chopping block.
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"
This was called in by Joanne who clearly had no time for this nonsense. And personally I always felt there was a sly implication in this song that the reindeer was the fallguy and that Grandpa had actually done in his own wife. With lyrics like he's taking it so well? Come on, it's Christmas Eve and your wife was just trampled to death and you're in a good mood? Suspicious!
Anything by Bruce
That's not a song title. Ervie called in saying literally ANYTHING by Bruce Springsteen. The two Christmas tunes that come to mind are "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and "Merry Christmas Baby."
"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
This ban was suggested by JoeCarlo and it's hard to argue with. The annoying kid at the beginning of the song doesn't sound nearly upset enough having walked in on his mom acting like a cheating whore.
The version by Madonna is grating with that affectation almost as annoying as her adopted fake British accent. Mick wants this banned.
Jean has had enough of this song. No, she doesn't want to build a wall, no she's not racist. It's the repetition. Sounding like it was written on a five minute bus ride to the recording studio, it definitely needed more words.
"Barking Jingle Bells"
Whatever the hell the actual title of this doofus rendition is called, I hate it so much I couldn't even be bothered wasting ten seconds to look it up. You know which song I mean. Rich hates it just as much as I do.
"The Chipmunk Song"
This is that one that is probably more effective than water boarding, you know the one where one of these helium sucking rodents wants a hooooola hooooop? Chris wants this banned and who could possibly blame him.
O. M. G. Doesn't this just top everyone's list? A song so depressing, so awful, a former program director of this radio station actually DID ban it. Not only did Mike want this banned, Jermaine called in to back him up on it. If you always hated this song and had any trouble putting your finger on why, follow this link to comic Patton Oswalt's hysterical analysis of just how awful this song is. I had tears in my eyes by the end of it.
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