With the labor shortage continuing in New Jersey, ghosting has become more and more commonplace at companies across the Garden State.

But this kind of behavior, where you accept a job offer but then never show up for your first day at work and never communicate your change of plans, is also on the rise in personal relationships.

According to Maxine Bradshaw, the associate dean and professor of psychology and counseling at Pillar College in Essex County, many people who ghost, whether it’s a company or a friend, are filled with anxiety.

Have you been ghosted in your personal life?

She said ghosting “also happens in social environments, religious environments ... [and] is becoming more normal now to even break up relationships.”

She said this kind of ghosting behavior is unhealthy.

“In terms of being narcissistic, it’s all about me, so they rather ghost than examine their own feelings and inadequacies," she said.

Bradshaw pointed out people who are ghosted may become distraught.

“You start to question yourself, leading you to hesitate to form future relationships as well.”

Woman with back pain in the public park. Young woman rubbing aching back
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It's stressful - talk about it

She said if you get ghosted in a personal relationship it’s important “to try to talk about it, process it, and it’s normal to feel surprised if you’ve been ghosted as well, and be in denial and there’s going to be some anger.”

She added that it might lead to depression "because you might have invested a lot in the relationship, so I’d advise them to invest in themselves.”

Ghosting of course continues to take place in the work environment.

Bradshaw pointed out that while some people will ghost a company because they get a more favorable salary or work environment at another company, they may also not show up for the job because they are afraid of failure and want to avoid the stress of that scenario playing out.

Self doubt

Bradshaw said some individuals may also fear if they have applied to multiple companies, those company bosses will talk to each other and become angry with someone who has rejected several job offers.

She said to avoid ghosting anxiety it’s important for people to think about why they have applied for a particular job in the first place.

“Then to reassess your credentials, your qualifications, really just improve on your self-worth, your sense of I’m able to do this."

David Matthau is a reporter for New Jersey 101.5. You can reach him at david.matthau@townsquaremedia.com

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