38 years of marriage, and the secret might be chicken wings

My wife and I think we have the perfect marriage. There are plenty of ways our personalities complement each other, but if you ask me what really holds the whole thing together, I'd tell you it's this: she reaches for the wingettes, and I reach for the drums, every single time, without either of us saying a word about it. Thirty-eight years of marriage have produced their share of lively debates. Chicken wings have never once been one of them. She goes flat side. I go drum side. It just works.

That got me wondering if this is a real thing other long-married couples experience too, and whether our preferences say anything about who we actually are. So I went digging.

The nation actually agrees with me, mostly

A CivicScience survey of over 6,000 Americans found 45% of wing-eaters prefer drums, 29% prefer flats, and the rest are happy with either. Men lean toward drums especially hard, 40% to 20% over flats, while women are closer to an even split, 29% to 24% in favor of drums. Sports fans come down hardest on drums of anyone, 40% to 17%, while people who describe themselves as loving to cook are actually 32% more likely than average to reach for the flats instead. A separate industry survey landed on similar numbers, 42% drums, 32% flats, with the rest calling it a draw.

Photo by Syed F Hashemi on Unsplash

And then there's the personality angle, which might be the best part

One piece I found broke wing preference down almost like a horoscope, and I have to admit, it tracks. Flats people, according to this theory, know exactly what they like and aren't afraid to ask for it. They're the friend who always finds the best restaurant and somehow knows the right way to order everything, refined, a little particular, and completely fine with that. Drum people, on the other hand, don't have time for unnecessary complications. Straight to the point, no nonsense, and the honesty that comes with that is exactly why people trust them, even when it's not what they want to hear.

I'll let you guess which one of us that second description sounds like.

So what does it actually mean?

Probably nothing more than two people who found a rhythm and never had to think about it twice. But if the surveys and the personality profiles are even a little bit right, my wife knows exactly what she wants and isn't shy about getting it, and I'll take the meat, tell you the truth, and not overcomplicate it. Thirty-eight years in, I'd call that a pretty fair division of labor. Pass the blue cheese.