I can write, so I’m writing this. I also wrote about FTC law regarding unordered packages. Later I’ll be writing about SSA’s baby names for New Jersey. See, that’s all I can do is write.

I can’t speak.

As in literally. Cannot. Speak.

If you heard Tuesday’s show it was like an ode to Mitch Albom’s memoirs except called “Tuesdays with Gory.” Because that’s what my voice was. At times OK, at other times, many other times, really, really hoarse. I sounded like Will Arnett smoking seven packs a day with bronchitis.

Then it got worse. Way worse. I was diagnosed with acute laryngitis. I had breathing treatments, steroids. I’ve been hitting a great product called Throat Coat tea I first found out about in 2009. I sipped some blackberry brandy. All to no avail because as of Thursday my voice is literally gone.

I mean completely gone. As in not even a squeak. Nothing. Overnight I turned into a mime. (Like I wasn’t hated enough.)

It’s like in “The Little Mermaid” when Ursula takes Ariel’s voice. And I didn’t even get a sexy pair of gams out of it.

I’m so desperate for something more to try that I’ve been googling. Everything I find, honey, tea, steam, humidifiers, is all stuff I’m already waist-deep in.

I was hoping for some exotic Vietnamese trick like drinking boiled squirrel blood or applying leeches. I mean, I live near woods, it would have been possible.

I’m desperate. I’m frustrated. Oh, speaking of frustrated, I think I may be able to relate a little better to my six-year-old son with autism now. He’s non-verbal, and I’m getting a taste of just how frustrating this is to want to speak and be unable to do so. Maybe I can understand him more and that will be my silver lining in this.

So anyway, for now, no more ranting about dogs in malls or how Central Jersey doesn’t exist or how the Supreme Court had no business undermining the parole board and releasing Sundiata Acoli or how utterly stupid it is that we can’t pump our own gas.

But this will pass. And I’ll have a voice again soon. Oh, and did you hear a committee advanced this absurd legislation to put tampons in boys’ rooms in public schools? Yeah, I need my yell back.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

You can now listen to Deminski & Doyle — On Demand! Hear New Jersey’s favorite afternoon radio show any day of the week. Download the Deminski & Doyle show wherever you get podcasts, on our free app, or listen right now:

New Jersey's license plate designs through the years

Every NJ pizza joint Barstool's Dave Portnoy has reviewed

Dave Portnoy, commonly known as El Presidente, is the founder of Barstool Sports. Somewhere along the way, he decided to start reviewing local pizzerias, and the concept took off. Here is every New Jersey pizzeria Dave has stopped in, along with the score he gave them.

New Jersey's new legislative districts for the 2020s

Boundaries for the 40 legislative districts for the Senate and Assembly elections of 2023 through 2029, and perhaps 2031, were approved in a bipartisan vote of the Apportionment Commission on Feb. 18, 2022. The map continues to favor Democrats, though Republicans say it gives them a chance to win the majority.

More From New Jersey 101.5 FM