So, socialism might actually be an upgrade for NJ (Opinion)

So apparently, things in New York City have gone so far off the rails that New York Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani is starting to look like the future.

You remember him — the guy who wants to make everything free, equal, and just a little bit miserable.

We’ve been off the rails so long here in New Jersey that we ain’t doing much better than they are in New York City!

Honestly, at this point, maybe that’s the upgrade we deserve.

Let’s think about it. New York’s latest leadership shuffle makes me wonder if socialism might actually be an improvement.

You’d still be broke, but at least everyone else would be too!

It always feels good for no one to be doing well if you aren’t. And if you complain, there’ll probably be a government program for that.

Maybe “Feelings Equity 101.” Add to that a course in all New Jersey public schools that teaches how to deal with an abusive government.

And then, of course, let’s make the richest people pay for all of it.

I'd like Mamdani to bring his big ideas over the bridge and give us a taste of that utopia.

Who knows? Maybe socialism would finally fix the Parkway potholes.

Perhaps it’d make property taxes “equal,” meaning we all just lose our homes together.

On second thought, I think we should keep things the way we are. Because.

Here in New Jersey, we’re watching from across the Hudson like it’s a car wreck on Route 17; it’s disturbing but hard to look away.

We’ve got our own messes, sure, but at least we haven’t tried to turn Trenton into Havana just yet. (Though give it time ... Mikie Sherrill could be drafting the “Collective Pizza Fund” bill right now, as we speak.)

Until that happens, I'll stick with capitalism. The only system that can work in this country. Leave me that uniquely American and uniquely capitalist right to complain about paying $7 for a latte while buying it anyway.

If socialism ever hits Jersey, here’s what it’ll probably look like:

• Free Taylor Ham for everyone (but only if you call it pork roll).

• EZPasses are redistributed “fairly,” so nobody actually moves in traffic.

• A single, state-issued beach badge you have to share with 9 million people. Oh, I know rich people are allowed on public beaches. They have their own beaches anyway; they won’t miss it.

• Government-run diners where everyone’s omelet comes out the same. And cold.

• And, of course, property taxes are divided equally, so we can all be equally miserable.

Now that’s what I call equality.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Judi Franco only.

Report a correction 👈