Gov. Murphy falsely declares Central Jersey exists

Maybe this fake news shouldn’t surprise us. After all, during his inaugural address Gov Phil Murphy said, “We are one New Jersey - north, central, and south - striving for success.”

Of course he was pandering. He couldn’t believe in the existence of something that didn’t exist 40 years ago and just sprung up like some expansion team.

Later, on an appearance with Stephen Colbert, he seemed to somewhat back off this ludicrous notion. He called the Central Jersey concept “a little bit of a mystical kingdom, kind of like Camelot.”

Good, Phil, you were doing better.

Until this week.

On Monday, in an act of hubris usually reserved for the likes of his arch nemesis Donald Trump, Murphy arrogantly took twitter and declared Central Jersey exists.

Gee, Phil, if your simply tweeting it makes it so, could you please get busy tweeting that New Jersey’s pension system is solvent for the next hundred years and that we have the lowest property taxes in the nation? Could you please also tweet that I’m a millionaire who lives a few doors down from you?

Look, there is no Central Jersey. South Jersey has precedent. There was a well-documented secession movement that went to ballots in 1980. What does Central Jersey have other than minivans sporting honor student magnets being driven to Starbucks by people with the unshakable belief that they’re better than those rubes to the south and those ill-mannered Sopranos wannabes to the north?

There. Is. No. Central. Jersey.

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