What it would take for a Jersey holdout to get vaccinated (Opinion)

Have you heard the latest on trying to convince more Americans to get vaccinated? The Biden administration is now willing to spend billions of dollars to encourage millions of holdouts to roll up a sleeve.

The U.S. Department of Treasury just put out a statement saying, "Today, the President is calling on state, territorial, and local governments to provide $100 payments for every newly vaccinated American, as an extra incentive to boost vaccination rates, protect communities, and save lives. Treasury stands ready to give technical assistance to state and local governments so that they may use the funds effectively to support increased vaccination in their communities."

Is a mere $100 going to work in New Jersey? I mean if dinner with King Murphy didn’t do the trick what could?! (Insert eye roll here.)

What WOULD it take to convince a Jersey guy to get vaccinated when he’s a skeptic? Let’s start with food. It’s been said the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? So how about a lifetime supply of pizza, pork roll, Jersey tomatoes and disco fries.

Next let’s throw in free EZ Pass for life. Also, a Jersey guy might like having his beak wet with free beach access forever.

A true Jersey guy is always a family man. Throw in Massage Envy and European Wax memberships for his wife and lifetime passes to Great Adventure, iPlay America and Casino Pier & Breakwater Beach for the kids.

Speaking of his kids, maybe he’ll vax up if you give them a free ride at Rutgers (yes, even if they ARE citizens).

So added up you’re probably pushing over $1,000,000 already. Biden is only falling short by $999,900.

But to finalize the deal there’s one last thing to be negotiated to get a Jersey guy to roll up a sleeve and take a COVID vaccine. While the virus is neither a Democrat or a Republican, it’s been politicized anyway, and generally speaking the Jersey guy who shuns the vaccine also shuns the progressive governor.

So to finalize this deal, if Phil Murphy agreed to drop out of the race for re-election and never run for public office again I think you’d see the vaccine rates skyrocket.

Deal? Deal!

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski. Any opinions expressed are Jeff Deminski's own.