On the last day of the legislative session the Assembly and Senate passed a bill that now only waits for Gov. Murphy’s signature to become law. It will ban all flavored vapes from New Jersey. This is in the name of children who might be attracted to the wild flavors even though it’s already illegal for anyone under 21 to purchase these products.

It’s going to shutter a lot of small businesses while leaving big tobacco unhurt which of course kills far more people. This is logic Trenton-style.

How crazy do these vape flavors get? In a quick internet search, here’s what I found.

Roasted Chicken
Yes for those too lazy to come to the Sunday dinner table you can stay in your bedroom and suck down the taste of roasted chicken to your heart’s content. The thing is, who would want to?

I kid you not, there exists tuna-flavored vape juice and the irony here is this is what lunch shaming is all about. No kid is supposed to want a tuna sandwich so when they’re behind on their lunch account schools feed them that. Yet here it is in a vape flavor that is supposed to lure kids? Really?

That’s right, garlic e-juice. The teenagers lawmakers are trying to protect are a pretty hormonal lot. Do we really think they’d want to drive away potential love interests with this smelly awfulness?

Peanut Butter
This might not sound too awful. Odd thing is they say if you have peanut allergies you need to be very careful with this vape flavor. No matter, it will soon be illegal in Jersey.

Hot Dogs
Because we’ve all thought ‘I don’t really want to eat a hot dog, I just want to lick one’, now comes hot dog flavored vapes.

Real beer is an acquired taste. Once you’ve acquired it would you enjoy a beer flavored vape?

Stoned Smurf
Yes that’s a thing. They say it tastes like marijuana infused with blueberries.

Now one might argue those last two actually could attract teenagers. But no matter if it’s the taste of Worcestershire sauce or Skittles, one stroke of Murphy’s pen will ban them soon in the Garden State.

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