Oberlin College recently surveyed 500 women about which words sickened them the most. Which words were the most unpleasant in the English language. If the top 6 surprise you perhaps it’s because the college is in Ohio and sensibilities are different there.

The top 6 words women hated were moist, squirt, panties, chunky, curd and flap. I never understood the hatred for moist. Isn’t it what you want in a cake? Curd and squirt might be easier to appreciate. Flap? One researcher theorized women might have an aversion to that word because it makes them think of arm flaps or skin flaps.

Now if you did this same study with only Jersey girls imagine how different the answers might be. I would guess it would look more like this.

The words hated most by Jersey women:

1) self-serve
Is any explanation required? The mere suggestion of a change to the laws surrounding the dispensing of gasoline has brought about bumper stickers proclaiming Jersey girls don’t pump.

2) GTL (gym, tan, laundry)
These words can bring out vapid fandom in some but in most Jersey women they bring out hatred. Hatred that such a stupid show as Jersey Shore ever repped the Garden State, hatred for the stereotype The Situation brought on any Jersey guy a woman from here would be attracted to, hatred for the stereotype of tanning (can we get some Tan Mom Jersey insults in here too for that matter?) and hatred for the mere thought of laundry. When you’re a working mom with three kids breaking your ass to afford survival in New Jersey laundry is no punchline and no laughing matter.

3) Boys Night/Man Cave
This one is a tie. The boys night is where your guy just has to go out late with his friends and is expecting to not be checked up on or questioned even if he comes home at sunrise because after working 40 hours and putting in 4 hours of blood sweat and tears with the kids all week compared to your same 40 hours and the 23 hours you put in with the kids he’s fried, okay?!? Fried!!!

The man cave is when you really know the extra room would be better used as a playroom for the kids so your living room doesn’t look like Geoffrey the out of work giraffe exploded in it but he had to have a place to drink beer and watch the game in the shadow of his 1980’s Space Invaders console game and Snooker table even though he’s never learned how to actually play Snooker and never will but it was free from his friend Gary’s house when Gary went through a divorce after also having never learned Snooker.

4) expired
As in “sorry this Kohl’s cash is expired” or “this Bed Bath and Beyond 20% off coupon is expired” or “the baby is screaming and you didn’t stop for milk like I texted to and this milk is expired.”

5) field trip volunteer
When your kid’s class is going on a field trip and your kid thinks ALL the other parents have already volunteered to be a class parent and you just know the second you agree to it you’ll be assigned the worst reprobates in 6th grade plus that kid who never learned to stop picking his nose.

6) weigh-in
“Let’s have you get up on the scale” orders the nurse at your obgyn who invariably is either half your age with the body of one who’s never had kids or your age and twice your size yet slyly scolds you for being up 2 pounds from your last visit as if she’s utterly unaware of her own status as a wildebeest.

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