Everyone complains about the weather but no one ever does anything about it.

Well what if you could? I stumbled across something quite amazing last night that I need to share. Did you know there's an incantation, a spell if you will, that will stop the next coastal storm from dumping any snow on Jersey? (Yeah, I know, no one's turning blue holding their breath on this.) How crazy is it that New Jersey spends millions of dollars on snow removal and pushes road crews to the brink of exhaustion when all we had to do all along was cast a magic spell? Stupid, right?

Well it gets even better. You're thinking sure, I can cast a spell, but I have to be an ordained warlock or I have to have eye of newt and the spleen of a pig and some rainforest root. Turns out, you don't need anything.

Here's how easy it is.

All you need to do is go outside at daytime when the coastal storm is about to hit. Look up into the sky. Then recite the following.

"The nature I call to listen my wish to change the weather that it be warm outside here.
That the sky be blue on my city by the grace of the nature's divinities so mote it be."

That's it. You don't have to have a glass eye or turn in three counter clockwise circles while astride a unicorn or anything dumb like that. Just say these words to the sky and bam, no more snow to deal with. Now there's just one catch. The magic spells site I'm reading this from points out you must believe. If you don't believe, if you treat this like some sort of joke (oh, please, who would do that?) then it will not work. But believe you will, and the storm shall pass.

Does Dan Zarrow know about this? How dumb does he feel right now that he went to Cornell University and spent all that money on an Atmospheric Science degree when all he needed was this? Amiright?

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