In a new survey by the FDU pollsters — designed to shame you into submission, I guess — says that men who act "macho" in the era of COVID are more likely to die. So put away your independent spirit, your bold outlook and curl up under that blanket next to your cat and binge-watch some Netflix series, you fool.

In the survey, they find that men who purport to be "totally masculine" report having been diagnosed as COVID positive at 2.2% in the last month as opposed to 0.8% of other men. They conclude that these macho men would also have an increased chance of death from the virus. Remember, "safety first" and "better safe than sorry" and "proceed with an abundance of caution." All of the qualities that built this great country.

When the founders of these United States wanted to break away from the King of England, they started all of their meetings with "safety first." Also, when great explorers crossed vast oceans to discover this continent, they proceeded with "an abundance of caution." It was famous New Jersey inventor Thomas Edison who said "better safe than sorry" when he experimented with electric light. And it was President Kennedy who led the push to put the first man on the moon who said, "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what type of mask you should wear to the store."

I'm not saying be reckless when it comes to protecting yourself from this virus. But when trouble comes knocking at our door, as is always does, and will again sometime in the future, it's not the guy jogging in the park or driving in his Prius with a mask on that will defend us. It's the goddamn macho man who built this country. If he wants go mask-less in a crowd and bro-hug a few of his buddies at a party, that's on him. He knows the risks and he's willing to take them, all of them. Even if the rest of society is not.

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Dennis Malloy. Any opinions expressed are Dennis's own.

Dennis Malloy's mask collection