There are so many things that are funny to me about the sexual witchhunt, aka the “Bring Down A Powerful Man Party” in the USA we’re enjoying of late.

But that’s only because I’m tired of being angry.

One thing I find mildly amusing about these claims is that most of these men did nothing shocking or appalling. Rude, inappropriate, yeah. But people are acting like these men are criminals!

So, rather than lose my mind (anymore) over the ridiculous and even spurious accusations being thrown at these men, I’ve decided to just laugh.

I have to admit, some things I’ve heard have been serious accusations, but very few. In the case of Matt Lauer, for example, all I’ve managed to glean from the lawyer of the woman who got him fired is that she had sex with Matt for a couple months and then — I don’t know, looking back, there was something not right about it? So far there hasn’t been a criminal complaint so it wasn’t rape. Sooo — what?

But then again, details so far are pretty thin.

Variety’s Smear piece on the scandal is hysterical, though. I mean, it takes those very scant details and ... well, keeps them very scant. Talk about grasping at straws! So I can do nothing else but laugh out loud at this article and it’s ludicrous non-story. This isn’t just a nothing-burger. This is a nothing-side-of-beef.

Herewith, i share my favorite things that, according to Variety’s “EXCLUSIVE!!!!!!!” Matt Lauer is being ACCUSED OF!!!!


These quotes are direct from the piece, in which Variety proclaims breathlessly, of Lauer, “A TROUBLING PORTRAIT HAS EMERGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (My emphasis added for fun).

Laugh along, if you please.

LOL No. 1:  Despite being married, Lauer was fixated on women, especially their bodies and looks, according to more than 10 accounts from current and former employees.

Their bodies and their LOOKS? I wish I would have known that about him! I never would have supported the show by tuning in! Now that’s the worst accusation of all!!!

LOL No. 2: He loved to engage in a crass quiz game with men and women in the office: ‘f—, marry, or kill,’”

My favorite game. So I can’t be objective.

LOL No. 3: He paid intense attention to a young woman on his staff that he found attractive, focusing intently on her career ambitions. And he asked the same producer to his hotel room to deliver him a pillow, according to sources with knowledge of the interaction.

Listen, Lindsay, or Brittany or Jen or whatever your name is: You went to college. You got a degree. Maybe several. You couldn’t think to dial up housekeeping and say “Yo, can you deliver a pillow to Mr. Lauer’s room" and then tell Matt you took care of it?

LOL No. 4: There were a lot of consensual relationships, but that’s still a problem because of the power he held.

Wait. ... Ummmm ... They were CONSENSUAL? So that means you can’t have sex with ANYONE if you’re successful? Even if they, like, really want to? I’m confused.

LOL No 5: “I did this special with him and we are traveling and I had a cold sore on my lip and I heard him say to Bryant Gumbel, ‘She has this really ugly cold sore on her lip,’ like that was something to be ashamed of. He was just really cruel.”

This happened to me in fourth grade once. It was the president of the student council who did it to me. I successfully got him thrown off the council and suspended from kickball for a week. #MeToo.

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