When the news broke that Jersey City mayor Steven Fulop’s stalker was taken into custody, it got me thinking: who would stalk him in the first place?

After all, it’s not like Fulop is so attractive and irresistible that he has hordes of women after him, but sometimes a force takes over that a stalker simply cannot control. I should know, I was once a semi-stalker. A semi-stalker is not a whack-a-doodle criminal stalker like Fulop’s alleged stalker, but someone who is stalking somebody without the person knowing… Including stalking your Facebook, liking their pictures on Instagram, or looking through their social media to see what they’re up to.

It’s just getting the satisfaction of sitting outside someone’s house looking for their car or being outside of a party that you know that they are going to be at. You never really get near the person, but you just need to feel that you are close to them. Unless you are a woman who has been dumped, or even a man who has been dumped, you cannot fully understand this concept. So I’m not exactly sure what Stephen Fulop’s stalker finds so incredibly irresistible about him, but one thing I know for sure: The desire to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you is one of the strongest forces that a human heart has ever felt.

And by the way semi-stalking sometimes actually works: the victim of my semi-stalking is now my husband of 30 years.

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