Teachers having sex with students: Therapist explains the blame

Sex between a high school teacher and student sounds pretty scandalous, but what if the student is eighteen? I asked therapist Liz Mandel to explain why it seems so many teachers are having sex with students, and who is to blame when it happens.

Last week I told you about a West Morris Mendham High School English teacher who faces 5 years in jail for “improper fraternization” with three 18-year-old male students, one of whom she allegedly had sex with. Because these young men are considered legal adults, the teacher was not tried for sexual crimes, but the case raises questions about how much she's at fault for what happened.

Mandel pointed to a desire for power as underlying this type of scenario.

"The danger is that these boys who become men that have sex with females that are authority figures," said Mandel. "What happens is, over time they come to respect women less and less because they process the experience as, 'Okay, I was violated, but I'm not allowed to look at it that way because I need to be appreciative. So let me externalize my anger at all women so I don't have to experience the shame of knowing what really happened.'"

Mandel noted that some men may fantasize or joke about being dominated by a woman due to personal inadequacy that leaves them wanting guidance.

So how much responsibility can be put on the student?

"Students may taunt the teacher, but ultimately the adult has to be the adult."

According to her, despite the students being considered legal adults, "the reality is that, emotionally, these kids are not 18, and the teacher took advantage of an opportunity and it's going to screw up these guys for their future relationships with women."

Mandel said the teacher probably wasn't getting enough sex at home, needed validation or was chasing her youth.

"I don't think the boys are completely faultless," said Mandel. However, she said they need to realize what happened is inappropriate.

What do you think of Mandel's perspective? Share your thoughts by commenting or tweeting at @nj1015 and @BillSpadea.